(From my journal 3/24/2020)
This morning while praying I felt that if I am doing something with fear or anger, and there is no underlying presence of peace, I probably shouldn’t do it. I still need to become a master of living in the present- that is where all peace is found. In all the worrying I’ve been doing about whether or not I can discern darkness from light and truly hear God’s voice or recognize deception, it has pulled me out of the present moment, which is all I really have.
In this present moment, there is peace. In this present moment I hear a beautiful sound. The breath of life. All of the children and Wilson sleeping in this room, along with my breath, creates a symphony of life. The birds outside are waking up and chirping, adding their melody. The low background rumble of a heater warming the house creates a comforting grounding to the song. The low rumble in my belly reminds me that I have food to nourish my body, water to hydrate it. The sky lightens and brightens outside, creating a feast for my eyes. And again, the breath. The gift of life.
Deut. 24:22 We are all beggars. Give what you have freely.